


More Lisa (Like More Cowbell, but Better) (the conspiracy remix)

by nirejseki



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Episode Related, Episode: s01e12 Last Refuge, Gen, M/M, Mostly Gen, Remix, hints of coldwave
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-06
Updated: 2016-08-20
Packaged: 2018-07-29 17:36:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7693405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nirejseki/pseuds/nirejseki
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mick Rory is not stupid.  Mick’s impulsive, sure; he’s not the quickest on the uptake and more than a little crazy, but he’s not stupid.  </p>
<p>(Playing damsel in distress is Lisa’s least favorite con. Also, that bitch pulled Lisa’s hair.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thingamawhatsit](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thingamawhatsit/gifts).
  * Inspired by [More Lisa (Like More Cowbell, but Better)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6907255) by [thingamawhatsit](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thingamawhatsit/pseuds/thingamawhatsit). 



Mick Rory is not stupid. 

People tend to assume he is, either because of his pyromania and general disinclination to give a fuck or because he’s standing next to Len, who’s both a smooth talker and a goddamn genius. But Mick was the one that carried the weight of their partnership those first few years, planned the first few heists until Len got the hang of it; people always forget that Mick’s Len’s _partner_ , not his muscle, and a guy as careful with words as Len isn’t just saying that because he’s sentimental or some crap like that. 

Mick’s impulsive, sure; he’s not the quickest on the uptake and more than a little crazy, but he’s not _stupid_.

He sees the fevered glitter in Len’s eyes as the trip goes on, sees Len get too invested and start to swallow Rip’s baited hooks, and he tries to pull them out of it. Maybe he didn’t pick the best way to go about it, but he was starting to get desperate after a week of being trapped on that metal tub without a safe spot to talk to Len about ditching. Len’s an addict – not drugs, but praise – and Rip catches him tight in his web before Mick can spot his game. Mick knows addicts and he knows Len, his single-minded focus on finishing a job once he’s started it; nothing else would make Len ditch _Mick_ instead of the “team.”

Still, when Mick wakes up after Len gives him that little good-night tap, the first thing he does is feel himself up. Len’s high on heroism and he’s clearly decided to stash Mick somewhere he figures he’ll be able to pick him up later – the two of them talk big about offing each other, but this isn’t even the worst fight they’ve had. Len’s never been able to do it; Len _will_ never be able to do it. Len wouldn’t leave him alone in the dark with no way out. 

Sure enough, Len’s left him with a couple of lighters, a compass, some other shit – ah, there it is, Mick’s old buddy. 

C-4.

If things get bad, Mick should be able to get himself out of…wherever this place is. No one worth their salt watching the timeline would be able to miss an artificially induced explosion like that, and there’s no way this shithole of a forest is the future. 

He’s pretty hungry by the time he goes for it, surviving on a diet of rats and recognizable plants and the energy bars Len stashed on him. A week, at least. Something’s gone wrong, clearly; if Len could’ve finished the job and come for him, he would’ve done it by now. Fucking idiot probably got himself in trouble somehow. No, something’s gone wrong. It’s up to Mick to rescue his stupid punk ass _again_.

Of course, if he crosses the timelines, goes to help Len out before too much time has passed, Len won’t have learned his lesson about Rip Hunter and his plans. He’s gotta figure out a way to pull Len out of that daze, too. 

But first, he needs a ride. 

He snarls at the Time Masters that come for him, raves on like he’s feral and rabid, and he hides his smile when he hears them say he must’ve been there for months. Hard to tell, in a time pocket like that. It’s a good start to what he hopes will be a fruitful bit of manipulation – on his part, not theirs.

Sure enough, the Time Masters make the same mistake as anyone else: they underestimate Mick Rory. 

Mick Rory grew up in a family that wanted to tame him, a church that wanted to save him, a parade of child shrinks and foster parents that wanted to cure him. He carried his partner, the one man who never tried to fix him, out of the hell of his own making and rebuilt the two of them into something greater than themselves. He faced the greatest love and hatred of his life, head-on, and while he may not have escaped the flames unscathed, he survived. He's been burnt down until there was nothing left but himself. 

Some stupid chair isn't going to make him forget all of that.

Christ, and these people call themselves the masters of time. They didn't even bother to do their research; this isn't even the first time someone's tried to electroshock the crazy out of him. 

It is the first time someone's tried to electroshock crazy _into_ him, though. He'll give them that much.

But no, it’s just like Mick told Rip: if there’s one thing Mick knows, it’s how to make a deal. Mick knows how to wheel and deal, when to press his hand harder and intimidate, and when it’s time to fake a surrender till he gets the terms he wants. He's a crook and an arsonist and he's _very_ good at what he does.

Shuddering through the bursts of pain that run through his brain and his spine, trying to tease away memory and replace it with blankness, Mick thinks of the expression on Len's face when he's been left with his dad too long, the way his brightness goes dim and his sharp edges flatten to fit a shape he's not meant to be and how bringing him back out of that state feels like reviving a corpse, and he pulls all of that into himself and he opens his eyes. 

The Time Master in charge of the induction process hums in satisfaction, seeing that look on his face. They really do just want mindless goats out of this fucking process, cannon fodder to throw out into the world to do their bidding, grist in their mill. 

"Welcome to the Vanishing Point," he says grandly. "You are a bounty hunter and you work for the Time Master. Your name will be: Kronos."

Mick nearly ruins the whole gig by bursting out in giggles, because, well, _really?_ And the worst part is that they don't seem to realize the extreme inanity of naming a guy after the Titan of Time when you're in a group called the fucking Time Masters. They don't even seem to realize the amount of puns potentially involved. Mick can _hear_ Len’s voice in his head, drawling them out, one right after the other. 

(How does the time-travelling bounty hunter reason things out? Chrono _logically_.)

Luckily, the thought of Len sobers him up before he can break character. 

Wait, wasn't Kronos the name of that bounty hunter that was hunting them down? 

Shit.

Well, on the bright side, getting back to the team’s not going to be the problem here. But if he does eventually turn on them enough to attack them instead of jumping ship at the first opportunity, there’s gotta be a reason for that, and the reason isn’t going to be falling for the Time Masters’ stupid brainwashing. So he can’t just hop out on the next exiting train; he needs to understand them, understand their plan, understand _himself_. His future self must have had a motive to cross the timelines like that.

It’s probably something to do with Len. Mick’s a fucking idiot like that. 

(What do you get when you hit a time-travelling bounty hunter with a cold gun? A chron _icle_.)

Mick grits his teeth and works with it, goes on missions for them, learns how to use a time ship as quick as he can. It feels like forever, because being alone and surrounded by humorless jerks always feels like each day is a lifetime, but it actually isn’t all that long, maybe a month or two, before the eureka moment hits him.

See, the Time Masters may not have a sense of humor, but they're not stupid, either. They’re vicious, cunning, power-grubbing little weasels; Mick's spent too long being underestimated to willingly do it to someone else. 

So Mick’s learned more than just how to operate a time ship and what the rules of the timestream are. He’s also learned what the Time Masters do to people who disobey them.

First, for the general stuff, there's Kronos and the others like him, the bounty hunters. 

Then there's the Hunters, for the jobs he won't do. Not that Mick’s stupid enough to ever turn down a job, as that’s a quick route back to the induction chair, but while the Time Masters never say it to him directly, Mick knows he hunts and captures and kills far too efficiently for their tastes sometimes, when it’s someone they’re real steamed at. But, you know, it's real hard to explain "kill them slower" to someone as obviously dumb as Mick, and so they turn those jobs over to the Hunters. Mick’s not too worried about them; they’re sadistic and nasty, but also craven and unaccustomed to actual resistance on any major scale. Long story short, they're not nearly as scary as they think they are.

If the Hunters fail, though, that’s a signal for the Time Masters to activate the Omega Protocols, and that brings out the Pilgrim. 

Unlike the Hunters, she's going to be a problem. 

Killing someone in their past when they don’t know to look over their shoulder for you just seems unfair. Especially if they’re just a kid. Mick’s seen the horrified look on people’s faces as they disappear from the timeline; he wouldn’t wish that on his worst enemy.

He’s not about to let that happen to Len. Hell, he’s not about to let that happen to the team, but most particularly to Len; Mick doesn’t even need to think about it to know that Len disappearing from his life like he’d never been there would be the worst thing that could happen to him. 

The fact that the Time Masters haven’t sent the Pilgrim after Rip and his team yet is actually quite interesting. Mick’s not sure if it’s because they’re waiting for the irony of sending Mick after them or if they’re leading Rip around by the nose for some reason. He can worry about that part later; first, he needs to figure out how to stop someone from smothering you in your crib. 

(When does a time-travelling bounty hunter arrange to meet up with his friends? Yesterday.)

He’s never officially met the Pilgrim, but he starts studying her out of the corners of his eye.

She’s good. 

She’s very good.

Mick smiles behind his Kronos mask.

She’s _too_ good. 

It’s a concept that he would never have come up with himself, but rather one that Len taught him, years ago: sometimes, competent people are the easiest to con simply _because_ they’re competent and they know it. When you’re too good at what you do, you never lose. You never lose, there’s no need to change it up – not unless you’re like Len and have the attention span of a toddler, anyway. But if you never learn to innovate, you’re going to be treading the same old paths again and again and again, and that means you can be predicted.

The Pilgrim's got a methodology that serves her well, and she never deviates.

One: find the best inflection point of a person’s life, the time when their removal would least impact the timeline, and then kill them in that period.

Two: Should they evade you during that period, obtain a beloved friend or relative and threaten _them_ until the subject turns themselves over for extermination.

Three: Repeat until successful - and there aren't many repeats.

Add excellent fighting skills, top-notch aim, a ruthless disregard for casualties unimportant to the timeline, and a device in her possession that allows for micro-manipulations of the timeline, and she makes a hell of an opponent. 

Mick might not be the best at planning things, but if there’s one thing that’s good about working in the Vanishing Point, it’s that he’s got plenty of time to think about it. 

He’s still thinking about it when she sidles up to him one day in the mess hall, just as he’s sat down with the pretty awful crap the future feeds you when you’re a soldier. Mick’s only just getting by if he pretends he’s back in prison and this is some sort of punishment that will end eventually.

(What does a time-travelling bounty hunter do when he’s hungry? He goes back _four seconds_.)

She asks him questions, nice and casual, trying for flirty and getting his best “I’m sorry, I’m dead inside” blank-eyed stare in response. She’s dressed like a cross between Trinity from the Matrix and a hooker – why you would wear that get-up for going into battle is entirely beyond Mick; at least the female Hunters dress appropriately for their profession – and it’s nearly enough to distract him from her asking if there’s anyone left in the timeline that he cares about.

Nearly.

“No,” he grunts. 

“No one?” she asks, putting her hand on her heart and widening her eyes like she’s not the soulless psychopathic killer that she is.

“Killed my entire family myself,” he says. Mick doesn’t like sharing that fact with people, hates doing it here, but Kronos wouldn’t care about that and so neither can Mick. “Only friend I ever made was Snart, and he betrayed me – and I’m gonna kill him for it one day.” 

She smiles and nods, unsatisfied but content with his answer, and makes her excuses to leave shortly thereafter. 

The Time Masters are definitely planning to send her against the Waverider. The only questions are why not yet and how can the team avoid this fate.

The idea hits Mick right between the eyes with the speed of an onrushing bullet. He mulls it over for a few days, checking it to see if it’s actually as good as he thinks it is, but no, there aren’t any other problems with it. He bares his teeth to himself under his mask.

See, the advantage of being a criminal is that no one really knows who you care about, if anyone; history didn’t think Mick and Len were worth recording, and the Time Masters have no real way to tell otherwise other than their mysterious holy of holies, the whatever-it-is that powers the A.I.s to read the timeline, and Mick’s learned enough to know how to evade that now. But the rest of the team is still vulnerable to such analysis.

_Len_ is still vulnerable to that type of analysis – and only an idiot would miss which relative Len would trade himself in for. 

Mick makes a small detour on his next mission through time. 

(Why did the time-travelling bounty hunter put a flag on his alarm clock today? Because he’ll never _find the time_ otherwise.)

He stomps up, armor and all, to a safe house in Hub City, mid-March, 2016.

“Hello, Lisa,” he says.

Lisa’s got her gold gun out and pointed at his head in record time.

Mick pulls off the mask.

She stares at him for a long moment, then says, “What the fuck has Len done now?”

Mick smirks.

Lisa knows her brother so well.

They keep the conversation short – Mick doesn’t want to ping the timeline too bad, so he summarizes where possible and Lisa’s always been good at reading between the lines. He tells her about Len’s new mania and how Hunter is feeding it, playing Len like a fiddle; he tells her about the Time Masters and about the Pilgrim. 

He tells her his plan.

(How does a time-travelling bounty hunter and his temporary replacement partner-in-crime set their watches when they’re about to go on a heist? Syn _chron_ ously.)

Lisa bitches about her part in it – it’s her least favorite con, she’s always hated it – but she acknowledges that it’s her only plausible way in, the only way that Rip won’t suspect meddling.

“Do I really have to go to the middle of nowhere to wait for her?” she asks, scowling. “I’m a city girl, baby, you know that.”

Mick shrugs, long inured to Lisa’s style of half-hearted whining, which doesn’t hold a candle next to her brother’s more passive-aggressive style. There are certain things that mark an inflection point, certain triggers that can make one period of time more tempting than others for removal from the perspective of the Time Masters’ A.I.s, and Mick wants to make sure it’s _this_ version of Lisa’s that gets taken, not some twelve year old whose only use will be to drive Len up the wall in sheer terror.

“You know your part’s going to suck, right?” she adds. “If you’re going to play it like you said.”

Yeah.

Mick knows. 

(How does a time-travelling bounty hunter deal with the feelings of guilt, sorrow and PTSD caused by his mission? He doesn’t; unfortunately, it’s _chronic_.)

He needs to scare Len out of his unnatural daze. 

Hunter’s done something, Mick’s sure of it; now that he has access to the timeline and all the Time Masters’ tools, he can look into it more, can see the little points of time that lead to Len trying to help out the good guys and learn that the Len that got picked up right when he did was the one that was ripest for the plucking. His father’s death, the Flash’s rules, Len’s brand-new favorite game, even Mick’s own absence – Len’s scrabbling without a foundation, trying to rebuild his world, and Hunter slid right in to take advantage. Made himself, his stupid mission, all of that essentially the new identity that Len's trying to form for himself. Len was just right for the type of con Hunter was playing for him.

Len needs to snap out of it.

Mick doesn’t want to do it to him, but the only thing that can get Len out of himself, to throw aside all considerations and rational thought, is a threat to Mick and Lisa. The worse the threat, the more the impact.

And as Mick knows all too well, the worst threats come from those you trust most.

He finally gets the go ahead from the Time Masters to go after the Waverider; it feels like forever but probably isn’t much more than nine, ten months for him. He’s travelled through time so much that it feels like he’s seen lifetimes go by – there was a kid in the 1870s that Mick saw again on another trip as a decrepit old man in the 1960s, standing and marching and dying. Weird. 

Still, Mick knows his role. 

He goes after them in each time period that he remembers them in.

(What does a time-travelling bounty hunter learn in school? _Chron_ ology.)

After he’s done rehashing old memories – he hit himself with a car, fucking hell; someday years down the line if Len ever gets over the trauma Mick’s about to inflict on his psyche Len will find this hilarious – Mick’s finally free to go after them for real.

Or for not-real, as the case may be. 

Real enough. 

Mick might’ve endured nearly a year with some of the most humorless bastards in the entirety of Time, but there’s no reason to keep Len waiting. He goes after them a week after they ditch him, finding them in the 1950s of all godforsaken eras (Mick prefers 1980s – there’s a remarkable number of people who try to travel in time to prevent Lennon’s death, so he’s seen it a couple of times and it’s not that bad). 

Defeating them is almost pathetically easy: Mick knocks them all out, sabotages the ship to distract them, and grabs Len and goes to the jump ship. 

(Why does a time-travelling bounty hunter look out the window of his time ship? To see time fly.)

Len’s face when Mick plays his reveal is…

It’s…

He…

Mick wants to kill himself for putting that expression on Len’s face.

Thirty years of telling Len it didn’t hurt as bad as it did to avoid him fretting, and then Mick goes and does this.

Len will never forgive him, and he’ll be right not to. 

(Why did the time-travelling-bounty hunter eat his watch? He thought it was _time consuming_.)

Mick grits his teeth and carries through, because he’s invested too much in this stupid plan to break off now. He leaves Len secure, cold gun in line of sight like a reminder of better days, and heads out to spook the rest of the crew.

He’s off his balance, so he does the one thing he promised himself he wouldn’t: he underestimates them.

Worse, he underestimates _Len_.

They’ve got Mick pinned down, disarmed, and Mick’s weighing in the last few seconds if he should say fuck it to the plan and reveal himself and then Len rescues him.

_Len_ rescues _him_.

Even after all the shit Mick said about him, about Lisa, all of it. 

Mick’s so goddamn shocked he doesn’t even think about how Len got free until he’s waking up penned in inside the Waverider’s brig and they’re all standing there, debating his fate, and Len –

Shit.

_Shit._

Len’s missing a hand. 

His right, too, the dominant hand. The gun hand; the pickpocketing hand. 

It’s that godforsaken cold gun; Mick left it in sight, and to someone as flexible as Len, even after all these years, that all but meant he left it in reach. 

Len’s never going to forgive him.

Worse, because he brought Lisa in on it, Len’s never going to forgive _either_ of them, and then he’ll be all alone in the world. 

Mick starts wracking his brain to try to remember if the Waverider’s a new enough model to have regenerative capabilities. 

Turns out it is. 

That’s when Mick starts getting angry instead of guilty. 

(The time-travelling bounty hunter went to his friend and asked him, “What are you doing?” “Nothing,” his friend responded. “Just killing time.” The time-travelling bounty hunter collapses. It’s the world’s first case of actual _chron_ ocide.)

Maybe they didn’t need to beat each other to a pulp – okay, mostly Mick doing the beating – but sometimes they communicate better that way. It’s not healthy, but it’s them. Their fists do the talking for them.

Mick says _how dare you leave me_ and _I hate what this place is doing to you_ and _you broke your hand for me you stupid little fucker_.

Len says _I love you_ and _I’m so sorry_ and _I want to die so I don’t see you leave me_ , and Mick has to break off the assault, shaken to the core. No wonder Len’s latched onto Rip so hard, if this shit is going through his brain. Mick’s a goddamn terrible partner sometimes if he didn’t see how bad things were getting.

He’ll make it up to Len once they’re out of this right fuck-up mess Len’s gotten them into.

Mick tips them off about the Hunters and the team takes care of them pretty easy.

Len starts watching Rip more suspiciously. He’s awake again, his mind falling back into its familiar calculating treads, and finally, _finally_ , he starts seeing what Mick saw, starts seeing how something’s not right on this ship. And he doesn’t like it one bit. 

It’s not how Mick intended to wake Len up to his surroundings, but hey, it worked. 

Rip comes up with possibly the dumbest idea for stopping the Pilgrim that Mick’s ever heard of – their _baby selves_? Why would that even cross your mind as an option? – but they go with it. Even Mick goes along, figuring that if Rip really fucks up he still has the remote for his own time ship and the knowledge on how to use it.

And then the Pilgrim calls.

(What does a time-travelling bounty hunter keep in his kitchen to cook with? Sage, rosemary and _time_.)

She’s got Lisa.

Len’s on his feet in a heartbeat, his face gone ashen, but before he can say anything, Mick growls, “Put her down. _Now_.”

“Mickey?” Lisa asks pathetically, letting out a small yelp when the Pilgrim pulls her hair, though she’s unable to keep out the small glare that immediately follows entirely off her face (Lisa _hates_ it when people pull her hair). Len spots it, thank god, and his shoulders go down half a fraction.

“Look at that, Kronos,” the Pilgrim says with a toss of her hair and a sneer, looking much more natural than she had when she’d been hanging off Mick’s arm in the mess hall at the Vanishing Point trying to pry out his secrets. “There _is_ someone you care about.”

Lady, you have _no idea_.

Rip buts in before anyone else can speak, offering a deal.

Len glances over and Mick catches his eye. There’s a moment of perfect understanding. 

Mick rejoices: the Pilgrim isn’t going to know what hit her.

(What did the time-travelling bounty hunter say to the man he loves? Hey, baby, let me show a good _time_.)

Lisa takes the Pilgrim out in a show of absolute badassery on her part, cracking the Pilgrim’s nose with a well-placed head-butt and removing her main weapon with a deft light-fingered pickpocketing that was a Snart family specialty. 

Mick and Len’s guns do the rest. They’ve learned since last time; there’s no risk of crossing the streams. The Pilgrim turns around, beautiful face twisted in fury and smeared with blood, raising her hand to gesture – but there’s nothing she can do to stop them. There’s just a statute shattering and a threat removed.

“Really,” Lisa drawls, smiling at both of them. “What _did_ I tell you boys about going off and having fun without me?”

Mick laughs. Len smiles. 

“Make sure to bring you back something shiny,” Len says, looking centered and whole again in a way he hadn’t for a while. He has everyone he cares about with him now, no loose ends, no leverage. As far as Len’s concerned, the chicks are back in the nest, so to speak.

Mick smiles and pretends that it’s because of Lisa.

(Not that he isn’t happy to see her.)

After that, it’s a piece of cake to get her on board the Waverider. As anticipated, Rip can’t protest – it’s not like they schemed to get her on board, after all, at least as far as he knows, and there can clearly be no arguments about the timeline now – and once Lisa’s around, Len’s back in business, clear-headed and alert for any hint of manipulation happening anywhere around his baby sister. 

It’s everything Rip didn’t want to happen (the way he tries to convince Len that it’s too dangerous for Lisa and the grudging way he welcomes her to the team says it all, really) and everything Mick did.

“Well then, Miss Snart,” Rip says, not quite able to hide his annoyance at not getting his way. “It seems I have no choice after all. Welcome to the team.”

Lisa smiles her best smile and pulls on the Pilgrim’s glove.

Mick notices Sara straightening in interest and something shifty in his chest, some last worry that the plan wouldn’t work, relaxes at this sign of success.

With Sara giving Lisa the eye (what _is_ it with Lisa? She’s like lesbian catnip), that gets them four against five, perfectly reasonable odds. Maybe even more, if they can lure Ray or Jax over to their camp, maybe even Kendra or Stein. 

Welcome to the team indeed.

Rip may be the captain now, but they aren’t thieves for nothing. Mick has every intention of pulling Len into the planning and leaving the actual mutiny portion in his hands; now that he’s awakened to Rip Hunter’s many deficiencies as leader, Len will be able to tackle the problem with all of his usual cool and cunning. With Mick’s newfound expertise available to deal with Gideon, Lisa’s new device proven effective against the others, and Len’s persuasion, they’ll be the masters of the ship in no time. 

Oh, they’ll still go and get Savage; it’s the least they can do for Kendra. But Mick’s willing to bet good money that Len can make a better plan on how to do it than Rip can, especially once he’s got access to all the facts that Mick’s stored up in his head from the Vanishing Point. 

Then the three of them will have a time ship of their own, a loyal crew, and all of space and time to go rob to their liking. 

Rip Hunter _really_ shouldn’t have underestimated Mick Rory.


	2. Thanks

thingamawhatsit, I hope you enjoy! Your fic was really fun to remix!


End file.
